Being Quarantined in Peru
“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” –Proverbs 16:9
We make plans. We make decisions that seem good. And yet, the Lord may still explicitly re-route us. Does it mean that our plan was a bad one? Not necessarily. It just means that it wasn’t God’s plan.
At the end of January, I booked a flight to return to the states towards the end of March. March 25, to be exact. The trip was completely unrelated to the COVID-whatever-the-official-name-for-it-is. On the contrary, one of my best friends was getting married and had asked me in December if I would be a bridesmaid. Of course I wanted to! But I wasn’t sure if I would be able to swing it because of living on a different continent, money, etc. After many days of scanning ticket prices and honestly pleading with the Lord the desire of my heart to be able to be at my friend’s wedding, I had about given up on the possibility. But one day, just for kicks I decided to look at tickets again, and lo and behold I found tickets that could be covered almost entirely by my flier miles. Elated, I booked the trip.
As the weeks progressed, so did the corona virus. My mom was soon briefing me of the world’s uncertain health status and mentally preparing me for how this may affect my travel plans. She recommended coming home earlier to self-quarantine before the wedding “in case no one wanted to be around me,” or to not come home at all. Like much of the rest of the world at the time, that reality seemed quite unbelievable. But as time continued, I did begin to worry. I was receiving updates on the COVID-19 from my missions organizations, airlines, and more. Was it even worth the trip home? Or should I come home and stay home for a while? A Wednesday night two weeks out from my trip, I called my brother to pick his brain on the matter. “Should I go ahead and cancel my trip? Should I come home and stay home?” “You’re still two weeks out,” he said. “And I think we’ll know more in these weeks to come. So maybe just wait and see.” That made me feel better. Until the following night. When we did find more out.
“Things are getting worse,” Mom called to tell me. “The U.S. is closing its borders with Europe. Schools are shutting down. Businesses are sending people to work from home. I really think if you are going to come home at all, then I really want you to try to get here as soon as possible. Your brother even called me tonight to see if we had talked with you about trying to get home.”
It was alarming to hear. And for the first time since all of this had begun, I felt a full pull to make the effort to get home in the midst of all this. It would be probably be okay to choose to stay in Peru, but it also seemed like a wise precaution to return to the states: to be in my own country during the time of what many were considering a world crisis, to have adequate access to healthcare if needed, etc. It was a precaution that many were taking all over the world, even those in similar positions as me. After talking the next morning with my leaders back in Chattanooga, it was decided I would return home as soon as possible and would stay home until all of this STUFF calmed down. Within hours my flights were booked, and I would leave the following morning to begin my trek back home.
It was hard. To decide, that is. I was in a position in which either way I chose—to stay or go—not everyone would be in favor, not everyone would fully understand. I’m not sure I was even in favor of one over the other. I did feel called to Peru for my work and ministry. If I left in this time and under these circumstances, would I be failing that calling? Would I be looked on as a weak or terrible missionary? I talked to the Lord a lot about it. I asked for guidance. For direction. For wisdom. For discernment. For all the things. There were pros and cons to both decisions. For me. For everyone involved.
I had already been asking God about it in the preceding weeks. Even in those prayers, my desire was to make it home for my original trip, and to be able to return on time. “But if I’m not supposed to go, shut it down.” So even in this updated plan, that part of my prayer remained. “God, I’ve sought you, I’ve used counsel, I’ve done my best to apply wisdom, my heart wants to be obedient to You. So, if in any of this, if it’s not what You want, derail it.”
[The time is now Thursday night. The same day that my plans have been decided to return home and my flights have been booked. Also the night before I begin my departure.]
I get a call from our pastor here in Peru while I am packing my suitcase. He informs me about a protest planned to begin at midnight this night, and consequentially, the route to Cajamarca (the city 3 hours away where the airport is) will be closed. Note as well that the protest is not related at all to the corona virus, but to the nearby gold mines; also note there is no other similar protest taking place anywhere else in the country, just on this route. “These protests can get very dangerous, people throwing rocks and such, which is why they close the road,” Juan briefed me. “I don’t even think buses will be running. But we’ll check in the morning.” We checked in the morning. The buses were not running.
“Okay, well, let’s see if we can get my flight rescheduled.” And we did! I would now be leaving Cajabamba on Monday morning in order to arrive home by Tuesday morning. I was okay with this. Like I said, at this point, I had made my plans and was trusting God with the rest. Plus, this gave me some more time to let people here know I was leaving. Of course, it also gave me more time to be sad about leaving. The reality of not knowing necessarily when I would be back was also setting in. I wasn’t happy about having to leave under the circumstances. Then again, I’m not happy to have to do most things against my own plans.
[The time is Sunday evening, the night before I leave.]
Though my bag pretty much stayed packed from Friday [aka when I was supposed to originally be leaving] I was packing in my final items. Some of the girls wanted to meet at the café at 8 as a farewell get-together for me. Before we went out, I wanted to send an update to my supporters about my re-locating to home temporarily. As Aileen was hollering at me that it was time to go, I was hitting the send button on my email update. Per usual when we got to the café we greeted the staff personnel in the kitchen who are friends, before heading upstairs to one of the back tables where it was quiet. As we were making our way to the stairs, I noticed the TV was showing a news clip in which the headline read Peru declares State of Emergency. “Well it’s happening,” I thought to myself. “Peru is finally catching up with the others. So, I guess it’s good that I am going home now.”We sat down. Karen arrived. “Hey, are you still able to fly out tomorrow since they closed the borders?” “What are you talking about, Karen?” “The president just announced tonight that they were closing the country’s borders as part of the nation’s state of emergency. And I think that includes shutting down flights.” “What? No. Surely not. They wouldn’t do that.” Would they?
I mean at this point the U.S. hadn’t even closed its borders. And if they haven’t, how would Peru be ahead of them in this level of precaution? Naturally, I called Sandra and Juan to see if they knew anything. “We are listening right now to find out what all is going on. We’ll call you back once we know.” It was a surreal moment. Like a crazy dream. They would really just close their borders like that? And that fast? Sandra and Juan called back. They confirmed it. I called my leaders in Chattanooga. I called Turner. I called my parents—the hardest ones to tell. I called my siblings. I really wasn’t going home. God definitely gave some peace. Ya know? It was something so far out of my control, and was also such a closed door, it was undeniable. Apparently God wanted me to stay here.
"The Lord said to me, 'This gate is to remain shut. It must not be opened; no one may enter through it. It is to remain shut.'"—Ezekiel 44:2
I was sad. Of course! I was a little scared. But, I did trust God knew what He was doing and wasn’t going to stop taking care of me through it all. I spent the next week really trying to lean into that truth. God also began further confirming in multiple and new ways how I was supposed to continue here for now. And without any other option BUT to stay here, it was making it easier to accept that truth.
By that following weekend, I began receiving updates from loved ones that the U.S. was going to coordinate government-officiated flights to collect citizens in Peru due to the unexpected border closing. “If you want to get home, you probably need to notify the embassy now.” My insides groaned. I was just coming to grips about remaining in Peru, even feeling more confirmed with staying. Now, I was completely content with staying, but now here was another opportunity to return to the U.S. Would I be foolish if I didn’t take it? As I tend to do, I was overthinking it all. Too scared to make a decision out of fear of making a wrong decision.
But I already knew what to do. So, it was just deciding to do that, and then living with it, continuing to trust God’s goodness and guidance through that decision.
Another week later, here I am still in Cajabamba, receiving alerts from the embassy that more than 3300 U.S. citizens have been transported from Peru to American soil. But I’ve chosen to stay. It’s a little scary. Things are calm here; we are on lockdown, but essential food and supply is still available and plenty. Entering week 3 of quarantine, the stir crazy is beginning to set in. I’m sad I missed my friend’s wedding, that I didn’t get to see my family and friends and boyfriend. I’m feeling insecure of not having a normal, not being in our usual ministry. I have to be honest with the Lord about that. He’s been faithful to comfort me, to continue to take care of me. There have been some bright spots illuminated by this quarantine. We are finding some creative ways to continue ministry here (from a social distance!). Perhaps the sweetest part is recognizing how no matter what, the Holy Spirit continues to probe at my heart and say, “Hey, keep seeking the Lord.” And that’s evidence of the Gospel. That’s evidence that by God’s grace and salvation through Jesus Christ, His Spirit resides in me. That’s evidence that God has given His Holy Spirit to continue guiding us to return to Him. To return to the truth that our identity and main purpose is not merited in our location, our job, our ministry, or stable health situation; rather, our identity is founded in the truth that we are God’s child, beloved and delivered.
“My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord I will seek.” —Psalm 27:8
Opmerkingen